Is there a word to describe the misogynists who fetishishize and heteronormative mlm relationships ? I used to use Fujoshi but after learning it’s history I’ve been ‘fetishists’ or ‘fetishizer’. It feels like there should be a better word to use…
There’s a lot of talk about physical violence and employment discrimination against trans people, but there’s one aspect you don’t hear much about: health care.
According to 2011′s National Transgender Discrimination Survey, nearly 20% of survey respondents reported having been refused care because they’re transgender.More than 25% reported being harassed in a doctor’s office, and 50% had to actually educate their doctors on aspects of trans health care.
“I have been refused emergency room treatment even when delivered to the hospital by ambulance with numerous broken bones and wounds,” says one survey respondent.
Mum wasn’t going to come to my wedding. It was hard, but I’d made peace with that. My girlfriend and I would get married without her blessing.
Then, two days before the big day, when we were already in New Zealand, I got a frantic call at 11pm at night. I answered it and it was her, crying and asking if she’d still be welcome. We said yes, of course, and she booked herself last minute flights to get to New Zealand.
When I first saw her outside the registry, all dressed up with her hair done and holding flowers, I burst into tears. She came up to me and touched my face, saying, “You look so happy. Both of you, you look so happy,” and gave us these roses.
They’re more than flowers to me.
They’re given to me by a women to cried and shouted and refused to talk about my sexuality for seven years after I came out to her. It may not seem like much: but she had to walk into that flower store and buy these. She had to choose roses – the symbol of love – for her gay daughter and her gay daughter’s ‘friend’. There’s an admission in that. There’s acceptance in that. These roses say, “I know you love each other,” and she gave them to us at our wedding, which she flew three thousand kilometres to attend.
I sobbed as she placed them in my hand.
Because nothing will ever touch what it feels like to finally, finally know your mother loves you just the way you are.
I’m so glad you got to have this, Internet Stranger
Lesbian coming-of-age-ish movies with no “porn” (by which I assume we mean, no extended/explicit sex scenes, though they may have brief soft-focus or fade-to-black sex, and the narrative focus is not on the sex):
But I’m a Cheerleader (classic fluffy campy hilarity)
Pariah (not light/fluffy, but also not overly sexualized, and has a bittersweet but hopeful ending – also EXCELLENT and beautiful; written directed by Dee Rees with cinematography by Arrival cinematographer Bradford Young, about young Black butch characters)
A Date for Mad Mary (also excellent, also not tremendously fluffy, though very endearing and situationally funny, with a hopeful/affirming ending—note to fellow American viewers to watch with subtitles if you are unaccustomed to working-class Irish accents)
All Over Me (90s punk in-love-with-straight-best-friend plot; main character’s metaphorical come-to-Jesus moment is choreographed to Patti Smith’s “Pissing in a River” so that’s something to look forward to. Also the protag is vaguely masculine-of-center and slightly chubby, so you know, by Hollywood standards quite the example of diverse body types.)
Saving Face (very cute romcom with two Chinese-American leads, in which careers/professional dreams continue to be important to both characters even after they fall in love, and also older characters are depicted as still having sex lives, shocker. Possibly the least alienating romantic comedy I have ever watched)
The Incredibly True Adventures of Two Girls in Love (feel-good mixed-race high school couple triumphs over various obstacles—from what I gather about Love, Simon this is probably the closest analogue on this list)
Rafiki (I’ve heard—I haven’t seen this yet)
I’m not a big watcher of kids’ cartoons, but don’t both Steven Universe and The Legend of Korra have canon f/f relationships?
The Legend of Korra’s f/f relationship is only confirmed in like, the last couple seconds of the show? (I haven’t seen it.)
Steven Universe definitely has multiple canon f/f relationships, though.
it’s only confirmed in the last few seconds, but the second half of the series was leading up to it (building their friendship and chemistry in book 3, and then book 4 kicked that up about 20 notches with bonus flirting tbh the people who thought it came outta nowhere are blind)
Seriously, I can’t stand people who make fun of folk who are going through a free-floaty experimental phase of their lives, whether it’s a teen who’s figured out anime exists or someone who’s experimenting with pronouns. I have a lot more compassion for people who are in some variation of “figuring themselves out” because I’ve spent a lot of my life figuring myself out.
I went through that “grimdark” phase in my teens when I was figuring out how to deal with complicated emotions, tell more complex stories, and dealing with what I now realize is a lot of repressed anger relating to how people treated me due to my disability. Then I moved into a new phase of my life and I thought that was the last of it, right? But then I went through a tough phase of my life in higher ed that forced me to question how I related to other people. That caused me to question my sexuality. Now that I’m out of those woods I’m questioning my gender identity. It never stops. I’ll probably have some other major existential shift when I’m older if I ever save up enough to get a house and have to decide where I’ll spend the rest of my life, or just as I start to physically age.
It never ends. We’re always changing. We’re always questioning ourselves, and that’s a good thing. Questioning ourselves and the world around us is how we grow. If there’s one thing Psych 101 taught me, it’s that “common sense” isn’t all that sensible, and what we take as gospel isn’t always true, and doesn’t always work. Making fun of someone just for stepping out of line and doing something “embarrassing” isn’t helping them. If anything, that just betrays the bully’s own fear of “screwing up” in the eyes of their peers. It’s okay to embarrass yourself. It’s okay to fail. Dealing with setbacks is how we grow up. And you don’t have to “get” someone or even agree with what they call themselves in order to be respectful of them. You just have to not be a jerk.
Stressed, Depressed, and Story Obsessed 