I see people making jokes online about how women totally don’t feel bad about making more than their boyfriends/husbands. And that is great! I am so glad!
But it sounds like the data is more complicated and in my own life there are at least a handful of women I know who are very much living out this fucked up, unhealthy “exchange” where, their husband doesn’t make as much money as they do and so their husband has out-sized decision making power in their relationship, including, and most galling to me as an outside observer, how their husbands expensive hobbies define their housing/schedules while their own hobbies are forgotten. My cousin is the breadwinner in her family but they moved out into the country, an hour commute each way for her now, so that her husband can live his dream of building canoes. When we were both younger she used to ride horses but she made a sort of “oh, who has the time when you have 2 kids?” gesture the last time I asked her about it.
Honestly it looks like women are damned in every way when theyre married to men.
Im a bit surprised at Chie though, i can see why when comparing myself to her but i didnt think i made it so obvious in this blog. (~~very interesting, i guess im not as slick as i think i am which is actually really little~~)
white people are racist by default (in the united states as well as other countries). are you white? congrats, you’re racist, and here’s the explanation:
you grew up in a racist society -> you were socialized to be racist thanks to racism being a dominant ideology -> you benefit from racism -> you’re racist no matter how much u think you’re not.
unlearning it is going to be a constant battle and u will never unlearn it fully. accept this. it is ingrained in you as a result of your upbringing and the media you’ve consumed. the sooner you come to terms with your own racism, the sooner u can better yourself. recognize the problem in yourself instead of setting yourself apart from those “other” white people.
I fux heavy with the White people who keep putting this post on my dash
This applies to all social structures by the way.
You’re a man? You grew up benefitting from sexism. You’re straight? You grew up with homophobic ideals. You’re cis? You grew up with transphobic ideals. You’re able bodied? You grew up with ableist tendencies.
The process of unlearning all of the ideology you were surrounded by is what activism is about. Do it.
And even if you’re not privileged under a given social structure, you might still have a lot of internalized things to unlearn
Our society teaches us to hate the oppressed, if an oppressed person says that what you believe or do is harmful and they tell you – don’t get offended, learn and do better
The important thing here is, nobody’s blaming you (the general “you”) for this. I think a big part of the reason people get so offended when they hear these attitudes is because it sounds like “you’re a horrible person and support these things”. That’s not what it means, and that’s not what you are.
But society feeds us a steady diet of memetic poison almost from the day we’re born, and for each blend of poison there are groups who are more or less immune, groups who are harmed in ways they don’t really notice and groups who suffer horribly from it. It’s not your fault that you’ve been fed poison, and nobody is blaming you for having been fed poison.
It’s just… the poison is there, and because you’ve been fed so much of it, it’s in your bloodstream and your lips and your head. And you might not notice it’s there if it’s not harming you or visibly harming others around you, and spread it without realising that’s what you’re doing.
That’s why it’s so important to recognise and identify harmful ideologies for what they are and learn about the harm they do, so you can start checking your first reaction and changing the ways you’ve been taught to act and think.
This post just keeps getting better every time it pops up
Stressed, Depressed, and Story Obsessed 