stormblessedwretch:

crazychickmia:

dimetrodone:

delta-hexagon:

heroofthreefaces:

fangirlunderground:

roxolotl:

Look i dont wanna sound like a Fandom Mom or whatever but what do you think women over 25 or so are supposed to do? Do u really think theyre supposed to drop all their interests and just talk about taxes and marriage or whatever? It seems like 25+ year old fanboys do not receive this kind of “ooh cringe” reaction either. There are guys in their 40s with comic book collections and shit and people might think theyre a nerd at worst, not a freak who shouldnt be trusted

Thank you. Because, here’s the thing, I literally tried that. And this sounds really dramatic but it kind of ruined my life for a long time.

Once I got out of grad-school and started working, at exactly age 25, I figured it was time to get serious because I was “too old for this stuff” and frankly I was afraid of being judged. 

I sold all my comics, I stopped reading fanfiction, I stopped playing video games. All of it. It’s not that I never, ever watched anything “geeky” or spent a weekend binge-reading a kink-meme, but when I did, it was rare and I’d feel guilty about it like it was time wasted. I’d keep it all to myself, you know? And without any kind of inspiration, I eventually stopped drawing. After all, I didn’t need it for my “serious job,” so why bother? Unfortunately, my former skill is so atrophied now it’s nearly lost, but worse than that, it’s stressful now instead of the thing I loved to do for most of my life.

What was I doing instead? Well, I’d work my miserable, toxic job, come home and worry about how far behind everyone else I was, and how weird I was compared to all my colleagues. I’d go out with people and do the things they liked doing, but I only pretended to. But I’m not great at that and pretending to be someone else ate me alive. Unsurprisingly, by 31, my anxiety and depression was not in a great place, and I fuckin’ snapped. Not just because of this stuff, of course, but it honestly contributed. I quit my job and left town.

Suddenly I was completely alone, no job, no friends, and no reason to pretend to be someone else. So, I started doing all the things I’d given up. I read all the fanfiction I wanted, I bought a Playstation and an SNES and played them for hours. I bought back every comic book I loved, watched every Marvel movie I missed, and caught up on my favorite characters. I started traveling around just going to cons for the first time (NYCC, GeekGirlCon, DragonCon, etc). In fact, at @geekgirlcon and DragonCon especially, I saw groups of women who were 60+, just fucking enjoying things, and it made me feel so much better about my future. I’m not even joking, I literally cry every time I think about it, because I never realized how scared I was about aging in a world that thinks I’m already a decade too old for the things I love. Suddenly, that wasn’t so scary. 

And then I just stopped pretending that I wasn’t into this stuff. I mean all of it, even the stuff no one understand, even the stuff people openly make fun of, even smutty fanfiction. 

And look, I’m not saying this cured my depression, or that everything is perfect. For one, I picked a city that’s awful for geeks and I’m trying to figure out where to move and how. For another, I lost six years of making like-minded friends, and it’s hard to find them now because we’re all so worried about being judged and online – the space that was always a refuge for me as a loner weirdo growing up – is now apparently a Children of the Corn. But I’m happier here, actually fucking liking things, than being the unobjectionable robot woman I’m apparently supposed to be. 

I don’t expect anyone to actually be interested in this, or have gotten this far, but because I’m having feelings about turning 36 on Monday, I just want to tell anyone who is about to turn 25 that you should just tell people to go fuck themselves. It’s your life. You’re going to offend people no matter what you do, at least choose the direction that makes you happiest, because those people certainly aren’t going to pay for your fucking therapist bills, are they? 🦖

pssst

imma tell you a secret

the people saying you must give up the things you love upon reaching  adulthood are

wrong

aging is terrifying, and im still scared of adulthood and everything it entails, but if you love something, dont let growing up take it away from you

i hit 30 two weeks ago, and you know what? im still playing WoW. im still playing D&D. im still getting unreasonably excited when saturday rolls around and its time to watch the newest episode of My Hero Academia

because being an adult doesnt mean giving up “childish things”. being an adult means being old enough to set your own path and do your own things and pursue your own interests. it means you might have to do your taxes but then you get to rejoice when they’re done by firing up your 3ds and playing pokemon

i go to work every morning in a factory, and every day i bring with me my bag covered in fun pins. my pins include godzilla, star trek, totoro, warhammer, metroid, and other things. i have a bright pink water bottle covered in holographic fish stickers. i have a few fun little toys in my bag: a squirmle, a little lobster finger puppet, sometimes my 3ds

why? because i LIKE those things, and having a job and my own money and adult responsibilities means i can absolutely go to the local card shop and buy some MTG singles or go to the toy store and get a plushie of bowser

my point is, dont stop being you just because youve been on this planet for an arbitrary number of years

now if you’ll excuse me i have some fortnite to play and some warhammer dudes to build because i do what i want and my age doesnt matter

One of the big reasons people are uncomfortable with self described “fandom moms” is that they often put themselves in circles that consist heavily of teenagers and interact with them in ways that is often inappropriate or don’t adjust how they interact with fandom or the medium itself. Often not seeing why things like teenaged fans shipping 15 year olds from a show is perfectly fine but being 30+ and doing that with the same characters can get creepy or cross a line really fast. Likewise teenagers at each other’s throats arguing with eachother about fandom drama is not good but is expected, but 30+ year olds acting the same way about fandom drama largely between teenagers is not at all appropriate.

I don’t think people should need to “"grow out” of their interests, but we really do need to think about how we engage with this stuff and with others then we do get older

I turn 30 this year and my sister in law recently tagged me in a post about an interactive dinosaur display happening nearby, cos she knows how mad keen I am on dinosaurs.

Good friends and family members support your hobbies – even if it’s not the sort of thing they’re interested in, if it makes you happy and they love you then they’re going to be happy for you.

seriously though, I want to echo dimetrodone. It is super important to stay into what you love, but you do have to grow up with it. Consider if you will, a man in his 30′s sharing porn with an 12 year old girl. Creepy right? Same goes for 30 something women exchanging under age porn stories with underage kids. Stay part of the fandoms if you wish, but you need to be careful, cause there are lines you could inadvertently cross. If you can, find fellow fans close to your own age. In the era of the internet, that shouldn’t be too hard.